Here We Are Once Again

My Mother watering her patio garden in our new place in the midwest

The veil lifts once again and La Muerte appears reminding me that she never left.

I have been witness to my Mother’s dance between the worlds for many many moons and each time that she is near the edge, ready to cross over, she slowly emerges into the land of the living from the Underworld with stories of the other side.

The woman with 9 lives is the joke.

And at this point in the journey, she may be at the her last life, her last pass.

For those who have been part of this dance, you may be saying “ yeah right, she always pulls through” and truthfully there is a part of me that hopes this is true.

I cling onto any shimmer of hope and close my eyes to imagine what wonderful adventures await us in these upcoming years. I close eyes and imagine my Mother full of life, vibrant… stepping out into a beautiful lush garden that is part of our dream home that I hope to buy in the upcoming year.

I close my eyes and imagine ten more years of Debora in living form.

The tears rolling off my cheek awaken me from dreams that, in my gut, feel like they will not come to be in this lifetime.

I want more time.

And in truthfulness, I am unsure of how much more I will have.

Thank you for reading my words, my testimony…

Sincerely,

Nicole

The devoted daughter

Me and Mama D- 2016, Cardiologist waiting room in Bellevue WA